Worst Things About Porn

Generalized list of terrible, boner-reducing aspects commonly found in pornographic videos.

List topic started by rockgrant's List rockgrant
You are viewing the consensus version of this list. Only one person has created a list thus far, thus his or her choices solely determine the contents of this list.
  • 1.

    Close-ups of the guy's face.

    Does this turn anyone on, even women? Some grit-teethed, sweaty guy pounding away? Note to porn directors--the woman should be in the shot at all times.
  • 2.

    Roast beef vagina curtains

    You know how sometimes you find gum on the bottom of your shoe that's been there for awhile, so it's gray and dirty and mashed up? If that's what your vagina looks like, then it's time to retire from porn.
  • 3.

    Male on female cunnilingus

    Not to be confused with female on female cunnilingus, which is hot. When I see this, I actually feel bad for the guy. Because even if he's performing well, he still looks like a dog that can't get the last piece of kibble out of his dish.
  • 4.

    Universal money shots

    Who decided that this was the only acceptable place for a guy to come was all over the girl\'s face or in her mouth? There are so many other interesting places to shoot your load. In her belly button. In her ear. Up her nose. Across her upper lip so it makes a mustache. These options need to be explored.
  • 5.

    Falsely labelling professional videos as amateur

    Sometimes, you just want to watch regular people fuck.
  • 6.

    The cock slap

    The guy pulls out, and for some fucking reason, he grabs his cock and aggressively slaps it on the woman's vagina 3 or 4 times. Why?
  • 7.

    Stretched out anuses

    What makes butt sex an attractive proposition for men is the relative tightness of the anus when compared to the vagina. The butthole provides a certain grip that the vagina just can't match. So showing a woman who's had so much butt sex that her asshole swallows a cock like an anaconda eating a mouse kind of defeats the purpose.
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